Interview with a Sheriff Outtakes
by Southern Amateur
Summary: Easter Outtake - Sookie and Eric are found in a compromising position by Amelia and Tray.


**Happy Easter! This kinda popped in my head while suffering through Easter dinner shopping at the store. I hurried home and typed it up and my awesomesauce beta, AmaZen, agreed to do an oober quick job of it.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Charlaine Harris still owns the characters.**

~*~ Amelia's POV ~*~

I heard the door slam in the back of the house. "Woman! Where are you? I'm hungry!" I roll my eyes and shout back that dinner is in the fridge. Tonight we are going over to help Sookie move furniture around so we can put the leaves in the huge, antique dining room table her Gran left her. She got some wild hair up her ass about inviting the entire crew over for Easter dinner at her place, and when she asked me to come over the night before, I'd happily volunteered Tray to help out in the manual labor department. It was my favorite way to check out the view. I wondered if he'd be upset if he found out I volunteered him to be the helping hands more often than not simply so I could watch the way his back or chest muscles rippled under his shirt. I mean, seriously. His ass when he's squatting and lifting up someone's couch is fantastic. I want to wear it like a hat.

I wiped the condensation off of the glass and continued to towel dry my hair. In the mirror's reflection I could see Tray standing in the doorway, resting his forearms at shoulder height against the frame. The man was fine. I enjoy my occasional female, but this muscled man standing behind me did it for me. He was fresh from the shop, still in his standard white v-neck t-shirt and loose fitting jeans. I couldn't help but ogle him, even after all of these months of being with him.

Flexed the way he was, his shirt strained against his deltoids. I caught myself licking my bottom lip as I eye balled his biceps and triceps. They were massive and solid. I couldn't help but think of the times he had taken me in the shower, holding me up and bouncing me against him. I'd grip onto those arms and hold on for dear life. One time, I bit his bicep while coming. I felt so badly afterward, but Tray seemed to enjoy the brand for the couple of hours it lasted. Good thing werewolves healed quickly. I couldn't imagine the shit he'd catch at work if the guys saw him sporting my dental imprint on his skin.

He had a chest that could rival Vin Diesel's. It twitched slightly under the strain of the cotton of his shirt. I wanted to take it off of him, wrap it around his eyes and lick a map around his body. I considered how much fun it would be to finger paint chocolate sauce in the grooves of his abs and then lick him clean. I'd have a crap ton of fun just nibbling on that muscle ridge above his hip bones.

"Woman! Stop ogling my ass and feed me." He sounded gruff as heck, but that shit eating grin on his face let me know he was playing around.

"Don't order me around! I'm gettin' ready. If you're so damned hungry, go in the fridge and heat up some leftovers." I may look like a soccer mom, but I'm not his bitch... yet. I leaned forward to dangle my hair so I could wrap the towel around my head. I looked up to check out his expression, but he was gone. I finished up in the bathroom, flung my towel into the hamper and noticed my alarm clock on the nightstand. _Shit! We're running late!_

As I bent to the dresser to grab my clothes, I shouted, "Hurry up and get changed! We're running late!" I felt firm hands yank my hips back. I couldn't help the squeal that rang out as Tray simultaneously thrust his hips forward.

"Don't yell at me, woman, I'm right here." I stood up and faced his reflection in the dresser mirror.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were in here. Hurry up, get ready, we have to go."

He grabbed the corner of my towel and tugged. "Don't sass me, woman," he growled into my neck, "I told you I was hungry." Before I knew what hit me, he'd picked me up and tossed me onto the bed. His body soon followed and he was over me with a knee between my thighs. I briefly wondered where my towel had gone before I was distracted by a firm hip pressed against my favorite spot.

Confused, I asked, "What are you talking about?" He'd never treated me like I was expected to fetch him his meals. I couldn't understand why he was growling about food.

He smirked and began kissing my neck. "Tray, come on, we don't have time for this," I whined.

He'd kissed his way to my navel and chuckled in reply, "I've always got time for this."

"But I thought you'd said you were hungry?"

As he slid his arms under my thighs and placed his giant hands on my hips, it clicked. "Oh!"

He blew a stream of cool air against me and smirked as he hovered over me. "Indeed. One or two?"

~*~

Nearly an hour and what turned out to be three O's later, Tray and I were dressed and on our way to Sookie's. I kept trying to get him to speed up a bit, we were really running late.

"Chill out, Ames, we'll get there when we get there." He was wearing what was likely to turn into a permanent smirk. He'd earned it, but how the hell was that going to help me out?

"Really? This is all your fault, you know." I pouted. I hate telling Sookie I'd help her out and then dropping the ball. Lately, I was doing it more often than not.

"I don't seem to recall you objecting anywhere between cat-clawing my shoulders and gripping my face with your knees," he replied.

"Fine. But you started it," I whined.

"Yup," he chuckled, "And I believe I finished it. Three times." I slapped at his arm to get him to knock it off. It was a nice arm. I leaned over and rubbed my nose against his tricep. I nibbled it too. I slid myself over the console and rested my mouth on his fly.

Tray grunted his approval and I ignored the particularly rough patch of road.

"Don't start something you can't finish, woman."

"Who says I can't finish it?" I purred as my hand slid to the zipper of his jeans. Tray drove a truck. A man's truck. His Dodge Ram dually had sufficient room for road head without having to worry about the steering wheel getting in the way and the console provided support enough so I could just lean on over.

Grabbing a hand full of my hair, he tried pulling me up. "I do."

"Why's that?" I moaned and purred against his fly.

"`Cuz we're here," he answered.

I popped up so fast I damn near smacked my head on the steering wheel. _Holy shit, cow, mother of Christ._ I hoped like hell no one saw us pull up.

It was dark as we climbed down from the truck. _Sookie's going to be pissed. _Tray followed me up the front stairs. I knocked twice with no answer and let us in. The house was eerily quiet. I set my purse on the side table and called out for Sookie with no reply. I decided to try the kitchen first, finding it odd that the door was closed. Sookie never shut her kitchen door. I could hear some sort of shuffling sound on the other side of the door followed by Eric's voice.

"Lover, we need to get this taken care of first. It's going to be quite messy."

As I put my hand on the door to push it open, Sookie's voice made me pause in my tracks. "Eric, can't this wait until later?"

"No, Lover. You asked me to bring it and I did. Now let me help you get it stuffed in there so I can finish and get back to the bar," Eric replied.

"Amelia, what in the hell are they doing?" Tray whispered to me.

"Shhhh!" I hissed, missing the first part of Eric's reply.

"...large and cumbersome, plus it's wet and slippery."

I turned around to give Tray an inquisitive glance. He smiled and covered his lips with a finger, indicating I should keep quiet. We both put our heads to the door and continued to eavesdrop.

Eric was speaking again, in a rather soothing voice. "Lover, I'm in a hurry. I've been here for a couple of hours already and I have to get to the bar. Tomorrow is 'report to the King' night. Since I'm going to be here for dinner, I need to finish my report up tonight. Please, we have to get this over with."

I could hear Sookie sigh. I knew that sigh. It was the one she made right before she caved. "Fine. Are you sure it can't wait for Amelia?"

_Amelia? What the hell do I have to do with this?_

"No, Lover, it's too big and what does this have to do with Amelia?" _Yes, Eric. I'd love to know too!_

"Well, it's been a awhile since I've done this sort of thing, and I got her to agree to come over and help. She should have been here by now."

_.Fuck? What kind of original frontier gibberish is this?_

"Sookie, why did you invite her over? When we planned this, I told you I wanted to be the only one involved. It's something for you and I to do together. I thought this was our thing?" Eric sounded disappointed. For a moment I felt bad for him until I remembered Sookie wanted me in there too!

"Eric, I haven't done this in years. You know I'm used to being by myself. I got a little nervous, so I asked if Amelia could help. You know she's good at diffusing my anxiety."

I thought I heard Eric mutter something along the lines of, "Or gets you all riled up," but I couldn't be sure.

After a moment's pause, Eric started again, "Fine. If you want her here. I can't say I'm not disappointed though. I told you I wanted this to be just us. If you want Amelia involved, then fine."

Tray nudged me in the back, a little too hard for my liking. "What the fuck are they talking about Amelia?" he hissed in my ear. I had no clue.

I shrugged. I think he bought it. I'm not sure I was buying it at the moment.

"No, no. It's okay, Eric. Let's do this," Sookie pleaded.

I heard some shuffling around, the refrigerator opened and closed, and some rustling in the cabinets came through the door.

"Holy crap, Eric! Where did you get that thing?" Sookie was practically shrieking.

"Shhh, Sookie. What do you mean where did I get it?"

"Eric! It's fucking huge! Oh my god. It's never going to fucking fit. You told me to get the large ones, but I don't think it will fit on that!"

Tray whispered in my ear, "I didn't think they needed to wrap it up. Vamps don't carry STD's do they?"

"I don't know! You tell me! I'm just glad I'm not participating in this shit!" I hissed back. Tray laughed, soundlessly thank goodness.

"Sookie! What are you doing?" Eric practically shouted.

"I'm unwrapping it! We need to get this over with, like you said. What does it look like I'm doing?" Sookie snapped.

"Calm down, Lover. Patience. You don't need to unwrap it yet."

"Not yet?" Sookie asked.

"No, let me get it ready first. Did you read the directions?" Eric asked her.

"Shit! Sorry! It's been so long, I forgot that the design changes. Let me read the directions." I could hear Sookie scrambling.

Dead silence. Just when I wanted to make sure they were still alive, or alive and undead, Sookie exclaimed. "Okay! Done. Now let's unwrap it!"

"No, Lover. Let me do it. It's easier that way."

"Why? You don't think I can do it?" Sookie hated this _let me do it_ crap.

Eric's voice was calm. "Lover, I have complete confidence. But as I said, it's quite large and slippery. Just let me. I've done this many times."

"Yea, well I've done it a couple of times myself." she huffed.

A few more moments later came Eric, "Okay, Lover. Grab it and help me aim it in."

Sookie's whimpers came through the door. "It's not going to fit! It's going to get stuck! I can feel it now!"

"No, Lover, it will only pinch initially for a moment." Eric replied.

"But I'm living in the moment! What if it tears? It's the only one I've got!" came Sookie's frantic reply.

"Sookie! Stop! Relax. This won't work if you don't calm down and relax. Just brace your hips against the counter and let me push it in." Eric sounded exasperated. I was fucking unhinged. They can't possibly be doing this in the same kitchen we were going to cook Easter dinner in tomorrow. I looked to Tray whose eyes had glazed over and had his ear mashed against the door.

"Tray," I hissed. "We should go, we should not be listening to this."

He rolled his eyes, "You can leave if you want, but I wanna hear how this turns out."

I huffed and put my ear back to the door. Just in time apparently.

"Oh my God, Eric, it's stuck!"

"No it's not. Listen, just brace yourself. I'll ease it into the opening and then it's going to get heavier on your end. Just hold on and once it's in, I'll take over, okay?"

I could hear Sookie grunting. "Okay."

"One, two... three!" Eric grunted.

"Oh holy hell! It's in, it's in! I can't take it anymore!" Sookie exclaimed.

I could hear her moan through the door. "I've got it. See, that wasn't so bad, now was it," Eric intoned.

Sookie was gasping. "You're right. That really was a tight fit. I'm glad it's over with. Hurry up and finish so I can go take a shower."

I couldn't handle this anymore. I had to go. This was too personal. I turned to tell Tray I was leaving, but I tripped over his damn monster foot. I tripped and fell into the kitchen door causing it to swing open. I fell into the doorway, eyes closed so I wouldn't see my best friend in a very compromising position.

Sookie shrieked and Tray laughed. I couldn't believe this mess. "Sookie, Eric, what the hell is going on here? Sookie are you okay, honey?"

Tray kept laughing in the background. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't.

"Amelia Broadway, when in the hell did you get here? You were supposed to help me hours ago." Sookie sounded slightly pissed.

Eyes still shut. "Hours ago? Why? So I could be involved in this debauchery?" I could hear Tray laughing his ass off behind me. I heard a _thump_ that sounded like he'd hit the floor. _Bastard._

Eric laughed next. Then Sookie giggled, "How long have you been at that door Amelia?"

"Long enough," I huffed.

"That explains it, Lover. Amelia, open your eyes."

I didn't want to. I opened one, then the other. Eric and Sookie, perfectly dressed, were standing at the counter. And in his wet and slippery hands, Eric held a humungous ham in a browning bag.

Eric turned to Sookie with a smirk. "I told you we could squeeze it in without Amelia's help."


End file.
